Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
