brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
