Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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