He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
