my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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