I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
