I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We left the knife in your bed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
