Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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