i think my tv is drunk
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
