I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
