I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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