"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
