We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
