i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
