my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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