This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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