Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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