CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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