I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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