You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
