I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
