idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
