So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
