Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
