At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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