Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
