Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize