Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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