Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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