I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
