I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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