I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
