who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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