Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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