i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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