Just mADE A PArabola og urine
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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