I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
