WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
