marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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