We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
