ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize