You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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