last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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