i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize