let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize