Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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