Need sex. Gaining weight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
