SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
