Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
