Whod you bang
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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