I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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