It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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