yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
