More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
