It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
