Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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