these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
