Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
