bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
